Why SHEILD Social Sciences Division Has Such High Turnover
by Jessica Scott
Summary: *This* is exactly why SHIELD can't have nice things.


Dr. Abigail Gentry grit her teeth and tried to ignore Stark's complaint about how long this was taking. Again.

They'd been in the temple since dawn, the sand increasingly irritating, and the temperature increasingly rising as the Egyptian sun seared down outside. It was now well past noon, and most of the accompanying SHEILD agents had settled into what shade they could find both inside the tiny temple and outside in the surrounding complex to enjoy the delightful lunch only an MRE could offer. The Iron Man armor stood empty next to a statue of Osiris in the courtyard, providing a much-needed respite from the sun for two junior agents.

Abby huffed an irritated sigh and shoved a sweat-soaked lock of brown hair out of her eyes, having long since admitted defeat about trying to get it to stay in her ponytail. Her day was not going well. She'd gotten the call from Coulson in the middle of the night that an archaeologist was needed to "consult" on a find in the Egyptian desert. That should have been her first warning… Apparently, Coulson's definition of 'consult' included a temple full of nearly indecipherable hieroglyphics and Indiana Jones-type booby traps. The gaping hole in the floor six feet behind her and the spray of acid that dissolved the majority her shirt before she managed to shuck it in a panic were testament to that.

Now she was clad in a too large SHIELD t shirt with Coulson and Steve Rogers aka Captain America breathing down her neck, while Tony Stark aka Iron Man offered increasingly whiny running commentary. That should have been her second warning… Anytime any of the Avengers were involved, it was bound to end in tears.

The sudden presence of bearded face right next to hers nearly caused her to jump out of her skin. "Would bringing in the Rosetta Stone help? I can totally buy and transport the Rosetta Stone out here if it would move this process along," Stark's voice dripped with disdain.

Abby had had enough. "Captain!" she called to the nearby super soldier and Stark's boyfriend, "Shut him up, or I will set him on fire!"

Shock and concern appeared on Rogers' face. "Is that another of the booby traps, Dr. Gentry!?" he queried.

"No. It isn't," she answered darkly. The death glare she sent Stark had even Coulson taking a step back warily, but her reprieve was short-lived when only minutes later Stark was on his phone with Pepper Potts trying to wheedle her into at least finding out if the British Museum would loan him the Rosetta Stone. "Cap?"

"But, Pepper, I **neeeeeed** it…" His whine was cut short as Rogers took the phone from him, hung up, and captured his lips in a very thorough kiss.

With a moment of silence granted her, Abby returned her concentration to the elaborate carvings in front of her. Narrowing her eyes, she finally spotted the answer now that the bratty billionaire was distracted. Pressing lightly on three raised carvings with one hand, she slotted her other thumb into a fourth recessed glyph. With a scrape of stone and sand, a one square foot panel retreated six inches into the wall before sliding away to reveal a small compartment.

Inside a tiny metal circle shone with blue light. It was about the size of a quarter, maybe slightly larger, and appeared to be a pendant on a chain. Leary of more booby traps, Abby carefully reached in and removed the object. Holding it dangling from the chain, she turned to face the others.

Coulson was his usual unflappable self, Rogers looked like a kid on Christmas morning, and Stark looked…smug? Wait, why did he look…? That's when she recognized what she was holding. "Are you fucking kidding me, Stark!?"

His face broke into a huge grin while the other two men looked confused. Stark swiftly snatched the necklace from her hand then deftly fastened it around Rogers' neck. The Captain's confusion only seemed to deepen as he realized he was looking down at a miniature-miniature arc reactor settled over the center of his uniform's white star.

"Tony?" He asked, a little bewildered.

His boyfriend didn't get a chance to respond before Abby was on her feet and advancing on the billionaire. "Did you defile an ancient, undiscovered archaeological sight to give your boyfriend a piece of jewelry!?" she practically yelled, poking the actual arc reactor to make her point. "Did you!?"

Stark began backing away with his hands up defensively. "No… No, I didn't!" Just then he was saved from backing himself over the edge of the hole in the floor by Rogers' quick reflexes. "I had a replica temple built."

He almost went over the edge again when Rogers loosened his grip in surprise at that. "You had a temple built and went through all this to give me a present?"

A fond smile spread over Stark's face as he looked into his boyfriend's eyes. "I'd already made you the necklace when we watched the Indiana Jones marathon. You loved those movies so much, that I thought I'd give you the full experience," he explained with a shrug.

The Captain swept him up into a hug that bordered on rib crushing. When he was back on his own feet, a feminine hand smacked him upside the head. "You're an idiot." Abby's eyes narrowed dangerously again. "And you owe me a shirt…" she declared before stalking out of the temple.

Coulson let out a long-suffering sigh, having gotten used to the chaos that went along with the Avengers long before. "This is why we can't have nice scientists…"

Stark slung an arm around a grinning Rogers and made a mental note to buy Dr. Abigail Gentry a whole new wardrobe.


End file.
